I’m not trying to make excuses here, but having Mom Mind can really get in the way of accomplishing and achieving other remedies to this “provider” role I have taken on while putting my husband through law school.
Mom Mind– a disorder that includes, but is not limited to:
- 1) A steady and constant worry.
- 2) Engaging in caring, preparing, teaching, advocating, assessing, evaluating, or intervening every day.
- 3) Marked impairment in daily caring for oneself.
- 4) Forgetting of information
One of my intentions, along with so many others, is to provide for my family. And I don’t think anyone at this point can say it’s easy in today’s economy. So we currently live with my parents. And, I didn’t pass my Independent Licensure exam. Life doesn’t always turn out how we planned. I have the best intentions and I’m trying my best.
As we become parents and reflect back on our own upbringings we realize they did the best they could with the cards they were dealt. We get it. We begin to understand that all anyone can ever do –is there best. Bottom line is parents always have the best intentions. Even mothers who get addicted to drugs and mothers that give their children up for adoption- are trying their best with good intentions. Now, many people can argue with me about this and that’s fine. But, before you do please note that I’m a believer – people are inherently good.
If you feel like a failure, or not good enough, or just feel like you’ve lost something- not to worry. Remember that door metaphor? When a door closes another one opens. We simply just have to be open to new opportunities! The cure. Sure, it may be easier said than done.
My remedy? My mother once told me once in middle school before you speak ask yourself three main questions. Is it kind? Is it necessary? And is it true? Is telling myself, “I’m a failure” while feeling sorry for myself, kind? NO. Is it necessary? NO. And is it true? Heck NO. So then…on with life I go. And you should do the same.