If you’re a first time parent, or a parent of five children, learning how to discipline your children can be a tricky process to learn. How do you do it? Is one parent the good cop and the other the bad cop?

Applying multiple parenting strategies can allow us to be more well-rounded parents. Parenting isn’t black and white. We shouldn’t have to be the friend or the boss, we can be both. Strict and laid back.

Though it seems in the world of parenting we are critical of one another and our choices. But why? Why are we so divided? Is it because we’ve never actually grown up? Were we all not judged enough through adolescence? There’s no official rule book for parenting. Otherwise we would be boring.

I will say, when it comes to discipline however, abuse and neglect is never an option. No matter how angry or upset we get, we should never take our emotions out on our children. Verbal abuse is something parents can neglect to realize as harmful.

Have you ever screamed “Shut up!” or “Your dumb!”? These type of comments can be harmful to your children. I’ve had many clients recall verbal abuse growing up. It sticks. I get it, it’s hard when you’re trying your best and your tactics just don’t seem to work. It can be frustrating. We’ve all made mistakes as parents, but it’s our job to set an example. We need to practice stress management and learn to control and understand our emotions.

10 Discipline Don’ts via Parents Magazine 2013

• Yell
• Offer empty threats : Say what you mean, and mean what you say
• Undermine your partner
• Fail to set rules
• Bribe:
• Argue about consequences: Not up for negotiations
• Compare
• Spank
• Cave in to whining
• Set a bad example