I know that usually on Friday’s I post a
curriculum piece, but something else is on my mind. Today marks 3 months since my father’s passing.
My mind is flooding with memories of you, like when you were bent on the ground smelling different soaps and lotions from under the sink with McKinley. You were smiling ear-to-ear looking into her young and (at the time) blue eyes. I loved watching that moment.
And I loved watching so many other wonderful moments between the two of you. Here’s the thing, I can’t help but wish you were here to see her becoming an artist. I wish you could see her brush her own teeth…oh gosh dad, there are many wishes I have.
You’re right–there are many wishes we all have. Haha, I remember you would come home with a dollar lottery ticket and we would go around discussing our various decisions with the winnings. You loved doing that!
Spit it out.
I just…I struggle with your absence. Sometimes it feels like a moral void. Sometimes empty. So I try to wrap my head around, and remember clearly, our conversations about the afterlife. Do you remember? One time we were sitting outside on the back patio late into the evening. Stars above us.
What do you think is going to happen to me?
I told you– I didn’t know, but that it couldn’t be bad, because logistically speaking it wouldn’t make sense. And there started another amazing- thought provoking-conversation.
Dad, I’m sorry I took time for granted. I thought we would have more time together. I’m sorry for the days I was a grouch and the times I was to tired for another wheelchair ride.
Most of all dad, what I want you to know? Even if I have said it before (I want to tell you again). I’m incredibly honored to be your daughter. Proud to call you my father. I’ll miss our in-depth meaningful conversations. I have deep admiration for you, for your compassion, and kindness towards others. I look up to you in ways you won’t understand. And I’ll never stop my quest to becoming a better me. Geez I could write a lot here so—I love you and I miss you.
Thank you for supporting McKinley Milestones and my blogging world. 🙂
This blog today is dedicated to you.
R.I.P. dad. And, I’ll see you again. XO