“An Unexamined Marriage”


A sort of miracle happened today. I was able to watch my wedding.

What you don’t know is that for the past two years, over two years actually, I have tried to watch our wedding DVD’s.  They were in a .mov file format.  I tried watching them on different MAC computers and PC computers.  I tried converting the files and I’ve even spent time talking with professionals. You name it– I’ve tried it.  And, the outcome was always the same.  You could only listen to the audio.

Today I had a thought. I wonder if my wedding DVD’s will work now that I have iDVD on my computer. 

So, I popped in the DVD’s and sure enough there was picture!  I was finally able to watch my wedding!  And do you know what clip popped up first?

My father’s speech.

“The unexamined marriage is not worth living.”
“Live your lives together and try to transform yourself, but the one thing you don’t want to do… is try to change each other.”
“Transform yourself, never try to change your best friend.”  

These words come at such important timing in my life. Mainly because, my husband and I are working on transforming ourselves. Sometimes, it’s not easy.  Actually, it’s never easy.  And as you work on becoming a better person, the marriage is something that needs to be examined. The transformation of a marriage never comes from changing someone else, but changing yourself.

Most of the time in marriages, partnerships, and relationships in general–individuals can always pinpoint and point fingers at what the other is doing “wrong.”  But, true and honest growth comes from within each of us.  To be able to take responsibility for our own actions, thoughts, and behaviors.  To forgive. To acknowledge. To apologize. And, to become.






10 Comments Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:


  2. jordan says:

    Wise words from a wise man.

  3. Genevieve says:

    What a powerful speech, and how provident that you would watch it as you are in the middle of personal transformation.

    1. I thought so too. It’s funny sometimes how things happen. Have you ever had an experience like that?

      1. Genevieve says:

        Oh my gosh, so many times.

  4. Poignant and raw and pulsating with emotion – just like a marriage (during both ups and downs).

    1. Thanks!! 🙂 Love your choice of words dear! You’re absolutely right! XO!

  5. TIA says:

    I love this! It seems in a relationship, the arguments are almost always over the same things. After awhile, it’s important to sit back and evaluate what I could be adding to the problem, instead of blaming. It’s hard to do, but well worth it! Great post:)

    1. Yes! It’s so true that the arguments are over the same things. They start with something meaningless and boil down to the “real” problem..the same problem. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙂 –Georgia

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